Homerisms:

Whats the point of going out if we're only gonna end up back here anyways?

If I beat mr. Burns--I mean really wallop him good I'm sure to get that big promotion I’ve been gunning for!

For once maybe someone will call me sir without adding your making a scene.

Free Duff . . . Viva life.

They didn't have any aspirin so I got you some cigarettes.

Well I recked the gate but you don't here me bragging.

Shut up Brain or I'll stab you with a q-tip.

If I'm gonna' be trapped inside the house I have to go out and get some beer.

Wow. You must love this country more then I love a cold beer on Christmas morning.

Sorry boy. -I didn't know you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were washing a klown.

Let's make a pact--this is gonna' be the best vacation ever, or we'll agree to disband and join other families.

All right we're here. Let us never speak of the shortcut again.

My hair--you chopped off my hair . . . . . Oh God, I'm ugly.

Oh it'll be great--sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire--it'll be just like when I got kicked out of that sporting goods store.

When I find out who this is I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran.

Bart, trying is the first step to failure.

*Homer reveals he neve passed science 101*
Marge : "But, Homer! You're a Nuclear Technician."
Homer : "Marge! Icksnay on the Uclearnay EchnicianTay."
Marge : "What did you say?"
Homer : "I don't know. I flunked Latin, too."

Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers...

You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

If something is too hard,give it up. The moral my boy is too never try anything

Homer : "Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter. Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?"
Marge : "That's because you were drunk"